Back on Evia and about stuff, staffs, a beach, mules, a collision and the Zombiecalypse

After visiting the Akropolis in mid-May 2022, I organized some stuff in Athens.

Mainly I wanted to have a gas stove for cooking outside and gas bottles for it. While searching for this stuff I stumbled upon a machete. I’ve always dreamt about having a machete and chopping my way through scrub while hiking. And this one had been so badass. Like straight out of a cyberpunk samurai movie. I love cyberpunk and regarding the inevitable outbreak of the Zombiecalypse, it definitely would have been a good investment. But I didn’t buy it. After that, I checked on some additional recovery boards for Rosinante. They have been very good and in some situations, they would have become handy. But I didn’t buy them. Three years ago, I would have bought the machete and the recovery boards. But now I don’t like this accumulating of stuff anymore. Moving from a bigger car into Rosinante, I got rid of a lot. But still, I have so much stuff. And I’m fighting against adding additional stuff to it. Right now I would need at least three mules to get around with them. A whole mule family. Mhhh, that sounds quite nice to me… I might call them Rosinante one, Rosinante two, and Rosinante three… And in a Zombiecalypse, they would be the better option in the long run… Let’s see… In the end, I got the gas stove for cooking outside and even now, after two months, I use it almost every day and so that had been a good decision.

After having everything done in Athens, I moved straight on a ferry back to Evia. And there I found a wonderful new beach to live at. The road heading there has been quite offroady and fun and I had a wonderful time there.

After having arrived at the beach, I noticed a scratch on the backside of Rosinante’s cabin. It looked like it if I hit some plaster wall or something like that, but I could not remember doing so. I thought about it and concluded that there had been only one occasion on which that might happened. I wrote the owner of the camping shop where I bought the gas stove and did turn around Rosinante in a tight place and he confirmed that I hit the wall of his building. We exchanged photos and he said, that he would get in touch with me again. Until now he didn’t.

Every day at that beach, I cooked outside, washed my dishes in the ocean, read, and meditated a lot. One day I carved a little sand dragon out of some driftwood. I trained more with my bo staff and the other day, I found a bamboo bo staff at that beach and started to train Kung Fu strikes with it. On that day, I started to train almost every day. I’m still doing it and I can strongly recommend it. It’s super cheap (or even free), almost independent from weather and location, and feels super good. At least for me, it’s like that. If you want to give it a try, get yourself a broomstick or something comparable and do what she’s doing, and if you like, try what he’s doing.

I stayed at that beach for a week and apart from two friendly fishermen, who used the beach to launch their boat, I’ve been on my own all day One of the fishermen gave me some beer and one day, he took me on a small boat trip. The water has been fantastic and it has been awesome. I love the friendly locals.

The weather has been super nice but, once it started to get stormy, I moved along.

There is no love left

At the beginning of May 2022, Cori and I continued our way around the island Evia (aka Euboea) in Greece. We took the route on the west coast and found a wonderful, remote beach to call home for the next few days.

Before we left our last paradise to find this beach, we had a conversation that left me hurt, angry and disillusioned. I had been very confident with myself and felt very clear and loveful about our relationship and how we were together after months of not seeing each other. I felt like I could see and take her as the person she is. For me, it felt more true, deep, and real.

Cori on the other hand, told me, that she was uncertain about topics I was very certain about. At the beginning of our conversation, I managed to perceive her feelings and thoughts as hers and not to take them as mine. I think, I even managed to communicate clearly how I felt and what my perspectives were like.

After we spoke, a deep uncertainty hit me with full force. It felt like I took her uncertainty and blamed her for that. I got mad about her bringing up this conversation, me failing to find a healthy way of dealing with it, and the whole universe for being like it is.

We still had not a bad time. We didn’t fight or argued. But I just felt hurt and wasn’t able to feel what was going on with me. I saw no escape route from a black hole full of whirling emotions I couldn’t accept or communicate understandably. It felt like a part of me wanted to find the cause for my misery in Cori and blame her offensively. But I knew that she wasn’t to blame and that it was just my ego going wild. Honestly, at that time, I felt like there is no love left in me. Neither for Cori, the world nor me.

This state of mind colored everything we did with a dark veil that prevented me from really enjoying and being positive. Even playing mini golf on a self-build course Cori built at the beach, could not lift my mind. I had so many thoughts about uncertainties like I didn’t have for years. I was so desperate that I even tried to break free by listening to crazy shitty 90s songs and singing/ screaming along.

One day, we continued our journey and drove to the end of the world. We screamed against the sea and the wind but even that left my mind, the sea and the wind very unimpressed.

Still, I felt mad, hurt, and desperate.

To be continued…