Category: thoughts and feelings

Cyprus most northern spot, a wonderful beach, friends, my first Zazenkai and the earthquake (January, February 2023)

After getting off the ferry, I headed straight to the center of Girne to get a SIM card. “To the left, to the left, always driving on the left side” I was repeating in my head. From there, I continued my journey to the most natural area of “North Cyprus” that I could identify on Google Maps.

I found a wonderful, spacious sandy beach and ended up staying there for a week, or perhaps even a bit longer. What I enjoyed the most was the solitude, which gave me the chance to experience my first Zazenkai – a full day of meditation, mindfulness, and no communication. On the magnificent beach in Turkey, I had done my own three-day-long fasting and meditation retreat, but back then, I meditated only when and for as long as I felt like it. The Zazenkai with the Bright Way Zen Sangha, I had become a member of in the meantime, was different. There was an exact schedule that I decided to follow. Due to the time difference between the US West Coast and Cyprus, I started the day in solitude with meditation, and later I joined the others in an online meeting.

Before that day, I had not meditated for about eight hours a day, and I was curious about how it would turn out. I felt confident, and honestly, I think I was pretty arrogant at that point. After six hours of meditation, I felt an unbearable sensation of pain and somehow managed to let it go. However, in the next session, the pain was even stronger, and I did shift my sitting position, but it didn’t help much. In the following session, I tried sitting in a chair instead of the quarter-lotus posture, but the pain was only different but still there, and it was hardly bearable for me. Nevertheless, I kept going. During these painful episodes, all kinds of thoughts and feelings were arising inside of me, and it was more an act of willpower-based endurance than letting go and accepting.

Now, as I write this about three months later, I feel that my ego was pretty hurt and suppressed and rejected a lot of what was coming up inside me. I realize that a part of me did not want to accept what was happening within me – the pain, the struggle, the impermanence. Looking back, it seems like I went into that Zazenkai with a strong ego that wanted to prove it was capable of enduring that day, but I came out of it feeling insecure and disappointed.

A couple of weeks later, I participated in a five-day Sesshin (essentially, five days of Zazenkai), and in my post about that experience, I’ll describe a very different encounter with pain, letting go and other sensations.

During my stay at the beautiful beach, I also went on some long walks along the beach and through the sand dunes. While hiking along the beach, I found an incredible spot for tent living right next to the beach with a sun chair in between beautiful bushes and trees. I also found very accurately “cut” stone formations that looked very out of place. On one occasion, I came across a group of soldiers who were clearly searching for something. After they checked my ID, I asked them what they were doing, but all they said was “nothing.” It’s always the same when I ask these guys – they’re always “doing nothing.” It’s a crazy job they have.

From that beach, it wasn’t a long hike to reach the most northern point of the entire Island. I began my hike, and shortly after that, a friendly guy with a pickup truck offered me a ride for a few kilometers. Just when I started hiking again, another car stopped, and it’s super friendly passengers took me all the way to the most northern spot. That’s how I met Tarzan, a funny and warm-hearted guy from Turkey who had been to some rainbow gatherings. At the northernmost point, it felt like the end of the world, and that end was guarded by a herd of cute and funny roaming mules. I found myself thinking about traveling with a mule again and had a beautiful hike back to my home.

After a few more days, Isa and Arne (who I had met earlier in Turkey) wrote to me that they were tired of the cold weather in Cappadocia and had the idea to take the ferry to Cyprus. Just a few days later, they arrived at the beach, and we had another super nice time together. Sihong and Thomas also joined our little camp, and we had a wonderful evening playing an absolutely crazy version of “Mensch, ärgere dich nicht” (aka Ludo).

The night after the others had left, I woke up in the middle of the night to find Rosinante shaking in a way she had never shaken before. It felt like being in a storm, but there was no storm and the shaking was like a strong nodding. I didn’t think too much about it and fell back to sleep again. The next day, I realized that it was the earthquake in Turkey and Syria, about a hundred kilometers away, that had caused Rosinante to shake in the night and made the sea flood the beach.

I almost screwed up very hard when taking the ferry from Turkey to Cyprus (January 2023)

Upon my arrival at Tasucu, my first priority was to purchase a ferry ticket from there to Girne, located in the northern part of Cyprus. To ensure that I would arrive at the correct port location, I kindly asked the friendly lady at the ferry office to mark the appropriate spot on my Google Maps. After spending some time at a lovely natural spot next to the town, nestled amidst sand dunes and the Mediterranean, I made my way to the designated location.

The friendly guards at that location informed me that it was not the correct spot for the ferry and directed me to another location, which they marked on my Google Maps. Upon my arrival at the new spot, I found it very packed with people and cars. It appeared to me that many people were unaware of the proper procedures to board the ferry, resulting in chaotic traffic and cars parked haphazardly. I parked Rosinante and approached the port’s gate to confirm the correct location and get to know what I was supposed to do. Once I verified that I was indeed in the right place, Rosinante and I navigated through the crowded area and entered the port.

As I entered the port area, I noticed several other camping cars parked nearby and decided to park next to them to confirm that I was in the correct location and to talk with them about their travels. After an hour had passed, the ferry finally arrived. However, the unloading of cars did not begin as expected. There was an occasional rumbling sound emanating from the vessel but nothing else happened. More and more workers gathered around the large, still-closed hatch at the front of the ship.

While conversing with the other travelers and observing the workers’ actions, a couple arrived in their large off-road truck and informed us that they still needed to visit the customs office to obtain stamps for their passports and vehicle. This turned out to be fortuitous for me as I had completely forgotten about the passport control and customs process. I shuddered to think what might have happened if I had boarded the ferry without the necessary stamps for myself and Rosinante. I likely would not have been permitted to enter the northern part of Cyprus and would have been forced to return to Turkey to obtain the stamps before taking another ferry to Cyprus. Fortunately, everything went smoothly and I was able to obtain the required stamps at the Turkish harbor.

After waiting for several hours, the large hatch finally opened and the unloading process began. As I boarded the ferry with Rosinante, I pondered the reason for the lengthy loading time. It wasn’t until I had settled in that I realized that all the cars and trucks had to drive onto a massive elevator that transported them to another deck of the ship. It was quite exhilarating to ride the elevator and watch as the larger vehicles “rose from the ground” to the upper deck of the ferry.

It was already 4:30 AM, so I decided to turn in for the night in Rosinante. The next morning, I explored the ship and spoke with the other travelers I had encountered earlier. For some reason, I still felt a sense of disconnection. I wondered why this was the case. Before leaving Germany, I had imagined that I would easily connect with guys like them. Those who embarked on long journeys to distant locations in their off-road vehicles. However, conversing with them felt rather distant and uninviting, a far cry from the warmth and kindness I had experienced with the lovely people I had met along the way. While I didn’t feel upset, it made me curious and pondered what influences human connections. I thought about what I was projecting on them that might prevent me from being open towards them.

Edit 03.03.2023: It’s amazing how things come together. Just a few hours after publishing this post, I ran into the guys from the ferry for the first time since we were on it. This time, meeting them felt entirely different to me. Much warmer and more connecting. It’s crazy how my perception of myself and others can be highly varying/ being delusional. And experiencing this over and over again strengthens my belief that trying to feel the true nature of things is always a healthy thing to do. By that I mean trying to perceive things and beings as they are in that moment I am encountering them with less delusions generated by my small mind.

At about 10:30, we arrived at Girne in the northern part of Cyprus, and I embarked on my first real border crossing. Firstly, I went to the passport control, where I informed the officer that I intended to visit the southern part of Cyprus as well. In turn, I received a visa for 30 days, and instead of a stamp in my passport, I received a separate small piece of paper with the stamp on it. Then, I acquired car insurance for six months because it was only 5€ more than the one for three months, and I thought it would be more convenient to avoid having to renew the insurance at any time. With the insurance, I was permitted to obtain customs papers for Rosinante, which were valid for 30 days. Having all the required documents, I joined the next waiting line of people to have Rosinante’s documents checked. Afterward, I was permitted to have Rosinante inspected, and once I had cleared that process, I was good to go!

Edit 03.03.2023: The other travelers from the ferry told me that just after Rosinante and I left the internet of the whole port broke down and that they had to wait for five hours to leave the port. And the lorry drivers had to stay for the night because the port closed at some point.

Finally, I was on Cyprus, driving Rosinante on the left lane of the road and ready to explore.