Istanbul, instruments, sights, food, dates but no dancing (November 2022)

After a short stop at another beach, I went to Istanbul. I can’t say why, but ever since I began my journey, I’ve imagined Istanbul as a kind of gateway to the East. And I’ve always imagined it as a very different city.

And different it was. Vivid, vibrant and colorful as crazy. I found a very good city home spot right next to a small park and the sea. It was a paid parking, but I ended up paying only 7€ for five nights instead of 7€ for each night. There was an old van in the parking lot that looked like it wasn’t going anywhere, and I wondered why no one was removing it. It turned out to be the tea station for this parking and the walk along the seaside next to it. I loved this practical approach.

From this parking, I explored the city. On the first two days, I visited all the music instrument stores in the district Karaköy. There were a lot of them. I had been making music with synthesizers, sequencers and onscreen instruments on my iPad for years and loved it. But for a few months I had been thinking about getting an acoustic instrument. In Varna, I bought a pad controller for finger drumming, but that didn’t feel like the real deal. I thought about all kinds of instruments: didgeridoos, handpans, cajons, flutes, keyboards… I wanted something real. After trying dozens of instruments, I bought a cajon. It’s amazing how different they sound and feel. I ended up with one that I really loved. I also bought a used and discounted 64 pad midi controller and sequencer at a music store. I thought it would be super universal and cool to use. I went to a city park and made my first beats on the Cajon and it felt alien, but natural and awesome. I tried the pad controller and immediately realized it wasn’t going to work for me. I couldn’t see any of its leds in the sunlight. So I went back to the store where I had bought it and the guy there took it back and refunded me the money without hesitation. I was very grateful to him, because that was pure goodwill on his part. After trying many midi keyboards, I bought one, tried it in the evening and found that one key wasn’t working properly. I fell in love with the Cajon even more because it was so simple. Back at the store, they exchanged the keyboard for a perfectly good one. It was really nice to talk to all the guys in the instrument stores about music and the instruments. Is there anything more diverse than music?

The next few days I went sightseeing and saw a lot of the famous stuff. It was beautiful and I learned a lot about Islam, which was very interesting. And I don’t know why, but every time I see an obelisk, I feel a strong connection with it… Maybe I had watched too much 2001: A Space Odyssey. And I liked the bazaars and how lively they were. I bought some lambskin socks and these ones are now my absolute favorite socks when it’s cold.

Since Artha and I had lived on the first beach in Bulgaria, I had a very strong connection to dates combined with nuts and small pieces of fruit. I highly recommend trying that stuff. My aboslute favorite combination: half of a large date with a salted almond and a small piece of apple! It’s the best! Istanbul was the heaven of dates and nuts! I loved it. I got some recommendations for authentic Turkish restaurants from friendly locals and tried them out as well. My absolute favorite was a little restaurant where they made these “pizza-like” things. I don’t remember the name, but they were fantastic!

I felt like going dancing and looked for a cool little club that played house music. I found one that sounded great, but when I went there at night, they wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have a woman with me. I had never had anything like that happen to me before. Actually, I was super happy that I didn’t need a woman or anyone else to go dancing anymore. That I felt happy and good when I danced alone. Although I understood their intention for such a rule, I didn’t like it. I thought that this club isn’t very welcoming for people who just don’t want to be with women. And since I wasn’t in the mood to meet someone I didn’t know in a bar or other club, I did let go of the dancing for that night.

I drove to the east of Istanbul. There I found another great city parking next to a marina, a park, and a path that went along the sea. I explored the eastern part of Istanbul, which felt very different from the touristy areas around the sights. It felt more authentic and free to me. One day I took a long run along the sea and I had never seen such a long strip of nature in a city with before on which so many people were barbecuing and having fun.

After a week I was fed up with city life. It had been nice, beautiful and interesting, but I felt like I had had enough. And there was something else. I felt lost and disoriented. But at that point there were only whirly thoughts in my head. It did make me feel unhealthy and frustrated.

What does really matter, a steel Rosinante, her friends and art (August 2022)

I continued my journey and went to the museum “house of humour and satire” in Gabrovo. I had seen some of the illustrations they had there at the big “stone man monument” you saw in one of the last posts. I had liked these illustrations and so I went to the museum.

Arriving at the museum, the first pieces of art I saw were the metal Rosinante and her friends. I had a good laugh at that. I love these coincidences/ foreordinations or whatever you would like to call them.

The museum is awesome and I strongly recommend visiting it. There were a lot of interesting, inspiring, beautiful, and a little disturbing pieces and I loved how they were stimulating my mind and soul: entertaining and opening new perspectives.

At the picnic area, the UFO and at that time in the museum and after, I once again started to think about what realy matters. I mean in the way of: what do I want to contribute to this world? Do I want to contribute something in an focused like the ordinary work is? Would I like to produce another product for the markets? Something that promises happiness, sustainability, liberation like all the stuff you can buy, rent or book? Another coaching service? Another “do this and you feel better”-whatever?

I concluded that I don’t want to produce just another product. Not something that I have to make myself believe in. From my perspective at that time, producing food resources and art (including literature, music, etc.) and helping each other in life are the things that mattered. Food keeps human bodies alive, art is a form of help and both keep human souls alive.

UFO love, boredom, external affirmation and freedom (July 2022)

I knew that my next home would be special, but I did not anticipate how much I would love this UFO and what I will experience there!

The UFO is called “Buzludzha Monument” (see it on Google Maps). The official story is, that the communist party built it at some point from donations and they used it for meetings of their party. You can go with that. But I have a strong feeling that this thing is a UFO! I think, somebody built it to launch into space but somehow they had to cancel the build. That’s the reason why the saucer part is still in front of its launch socket/ tower.

Regardless of what the truth may be: I love this UFO! For me, it’s the coolest human-made building/ UFO that I’ve seen so far. It’s magnificent, extraordinary, perfect! I found an awesome spot right at the foot of this spaceship and my little spaceship (Einraumschiff) Rosinante looked very good/ fitting next to it, I would say. The weather was changing all the time from sunny and warm to cloudy, rainy, crisp… But I couldn’t resist and stayed longer and longer awaiting no wonder… That’s a rhyme and I guess it’s fine.

Down at the foot of the launch pad and UFO, at my home place, I met some super nice people. One day, a German family who call themself staubteufelchen on Instagram arrived. They had a rather fast way of traveling and so they stayed only for one evening and morning but we had a good time together with a lot of bo staff training and chatting.

The other day the couple of One Try Productions came along. Initially, I just wanted to sell some of my GoPro accessories that I did not need anymore but then we spent some time together, talked about mostly everything, and had a super good time. It’s crazy interesting what sort of things people are doing in their life. Imagine someone puts you on rollerblades and makes you race through exploding cars and fire while you are filming so that you get burned several times…

These guys made something wonderful to enable everybody to experience Bulgaria in a digital way. Make sure, you give it a try, I think it’s super awesome and it’s free: Explore 360 degree Bulgaria

Another day I saw more people than usual at the UFO and for a second hope arose inside of me: would they continue the UFO construction? But it was only a super crazy and crowded celebration of a communist party or another group of people with a lot of red flags, folk songs, sausages, beer and speeches.

During that time down at the UFO, I observed my feelings of loneliness and “left behind” (that I mentioned in my last post) more and more and came to the conclusion, that I was just bored and lacking external affirmation from other people. I felt a little like being empty. In a way like: “is this it or is there more?”. After I was contemplating this stuff, I mostly accepted the lack of affirmation or pushed it somewhere. I deleted the accounts on the dating apps because they just did not make any sense to me. And I countered my boredom by playing games on my iPad. If you ever want to play something really cool on an iPad, make sure you try “Race for the galaxy”, “Root” and “Through the ages”. These are awesome games with unique mechanics, no subscription models, etc. While playing these games for hours, I somehow developed a guilty conscience. I remembered myself being a child, playing computer games in my room while nature was so close and magnificent outside. So I played a lot outside in front of the UFO.

It may sound silly or whatever to you, but somehow this time down at the UFO let me profoundly experience that I was really in the privileged position to do whatever I wanted. And if that was playing games, it was just that. And if I was feeling like wanting to be physically, emotionally, and spiritually close to someone, it was just that as well. And if these feelings were just a way of me dealing with my ego, it was just that as well. Somehow I felt liberated at that time. I still don’t know from what, but I can clearly recall that feeling. And from my current perspective right now while writing this post on a beach in Turkey in December 2022 (wearing a t-shirt in December!), I must say: these days I’m feeling liberated as well. In a deeper way. It seems like that just never ends…