Tag: rosinante

There is no love left

At the beginning of May 2022, Cori and I continued our way around the island Evia (aka Euboea) in Greece. We took the route on the west coast and found a wonderful, remote beach to call home for the next few days.

Before we left our last paradise to find this beach, we had a conversation that left me hurt, angry and disillusioned. I had been very confident with myself and felt very clear and loveful about our relationship and how we were together after months of not seeing each other. I felt like I could see and take her as the person she is. For me, it felt more true, deep, and real.

Cori on the other hand, told me, that she was uncertain about topics I was very certain about. At the beginning of our conversation, I managed to perceive her feelings and thoughts as hers and not to take them as mine. I think, I even managed to communicate clearly how I felt and what my perspectives were like.

After we spoke, a deep uncertainty hit me with full force. It felt like I took her uncertainty and blamed her for that. I got mad about her bringing up this conversation, me failing to find a healthy way of dealing with it, and the whole universe for being like it is.

We still had not a bad time. We didn’t fight or argued. But I just felt hurt and wasn’t able to feel what was going on with me. I saw no escape route from a black hole full of whirling emotions I couldn’t accept or communicate understandably. It felt like a part of me wanted to find the cause for my misery in Cori and blame her offensively. But I knew that she wasn’t to blame and that it was just my ego going wild. Honestly, at that time, I felt like there is no love left in me. Neither for Cori, the world nor me.

This state of mind colored everything we did with a dark veil that prevented me from really enjoying and being positive. Even playing mini golf on a self-build course Cori built at the beach, could not lift my mind. I had so many thoughts about uncertainties like I didn’t have for years. I was so desperate that I even tried to break free by listening to crazy shitty 90s songs and singing/ screaming along.

One day, we continued our journey and drove to the end of the world. We screamed against the sea and the wind but even that left my mind, the sea and the wind very unimpressed.

Still, I felt mad, hurt, and desperate.

To be continued…

Erwin and a wonderful view at Corinth

It’s the end of April 2022 and for the first time in months, I’m getting close to a bigger settlement. After visiting Monemvasia, I got the feeling that visiting human-made sightseeing sites is not my favorite thing to do, but still, I thought that passing Corinth without visiting its famous sites, would be kind of stupid.

Half an hour before it closes down, I entered the ancient site of Corinth. I’m walking in between the old stones and especially the temple of Apollo impresses me. I’m enjoying visiting this place but I’m not sad that I have not much time left to check out all the ruins of this place. In my head, I notice something like a sense of duty. It’s weird. Like I have to be here. But of course, I know that I don’t. At one point I’m noticing that the mountain of Corinth with the ancient fortress of Corint on top of it, fascinates me the most. More than the ruins and by far more than the tourist restaurants and shops right next to the ancient site.

Before I have to leave the ancient site, I leave it and start driving Rosinante up the mountain. I take some offroad tracks and try different directions and in the end, I find an awesome spot to stay. After just a few minutes a young, cute stray dog approaches my little home area. He’s shy but looks very interested in what I’m doing. He looks hungry and so I’m taking a bit of the dog food I’m having with me and after a few minutes, he’s convinced that I’m a friend and I call him Erwin. From this moment on he stays at my little camp and follows me everywhere I go. When I’m sitting outside, Erwin lays beside me. We play around and take a walk. In the evening Erwin chooses a place under Rosinante as his sleeping spot. The next morning we take a morning run together and it turns out, that Erwin is a very good climber.

I’m thinking about what it would be like to have a permanent dog friend and travel companion with me.

Visiting Mystras and living on an olive farm

It’s about the mid of April 2022 and I’m driving Rosinante through an olive farm right next to the famous ancient site of Mytras in Greece. These olive farms can become pretty tricky to drive through from time to time. They tend to narrow down and passing the sometimes low-hanging branches of the trees can be tricky as well. I’m always wondering how the farmers are making it up and down the steep slopes on tracks full of loose stones and sometimes pretty big stone steps.

Right next to the little track I took and on the foot of Mystras, I’m happy to find my new home in the center of the olive farm. Hesitation arises in me as I think about if it’s ok for the owner of the farm that I’m staying here for a couple of days. I lay this thought away by coaxing myself. Just at this moment, I hear some low sounds of people working on the farm and I’m pretty sure that they will come along sometime and so I’ll be able to ask them.

I’m exploring my home in between beautiful nature with all its fresh green, olive trees, a meadow, and a nice small stream. The small area I call home now seems to be the dump of the farm because there are some small piles of rubble. It’s funny how different perceptions can be: for me this dump zone is so beautiful that I want to stay here for some days. For the farmer, it might be the most unproductive and worthless area of his whole farm.

A couple of hours later, I’m hearing a tractor approaching and meet it on the small road. I’m waving and smiling and the driver seems to be a nice guy. It’s the farmer and I’m asking him if I can stay for some days. He is absolutely fine with this. We have a short chat about a lot of things and he gives me tips about what to visit in the area. Once more I see one of my beliefs confirmed: if I’m meeting people friendly and open, they do the same to me. It’s like a principle of friendliness attracting more friendliness.

The next morning I start my way to the ancient site of Mystras. After a couple of meters, I’m deciding to try going barefoot for the whole day. As a fallback, I’m tieing my flip-flops to my backpack.

The ancient site of Mystras with its ruins and reconstructed buildings in the rising spring is very beautiful. But the most beautiful part of it is the view from the top of the fortress on top of it. I’m hanging around there for quite some time and thinking about what side of the view I like more: the nature side with its mountains or the valley side with the roads and little settlements? For me, it’s an easy choice and I decide to climb up one of the mountains tomorrow.

After about eight hours I’m arriving back at Rosinante and my barefoot experiment went pretty well. After the first hour of getting used to especially sharp gravel laying on flat concrete, it felt super good and slowed me down a bit. But after having my soles backed on a dark tarmac road it’s super intense to walk on these little, sharp stones.