Category: thoughts and feelings

Having sex on a summit (May 2023)

I stayed in touch with Cindy (who I had met on Cyprus) and we said that we could meet again in the area of Van Lake. Because of my few visa days I had to rush east but when I was helping to build up the plantage (see the last post) Cindy messaged me that she wanted to climb up a mountain very close to my location. What a nice coincidence.

A super friendly old man recommended me a picnic area next to a creek and a bit later that day Cindy joined me with her van called Thor and Yolo, a puppy stray dog she had saved from starving a couple of weeks ago. It was super nice to see her again and spending time together felt instantly easy going, interesting and at the same time familiar.

In the creek was a tiny pond and when Cindy told me she was a nudist and wanted to take a bath in that pond naked, I joined her. Especially one part of me made it pretty obvious that I liked to see her (naked). This is a thing for me being naked: mostly me and my penis are living happily together but sometimes he has his own head. And that’s not the worst that could happen but I just don’t want to offend people. And I believe being not or just a little ashamed of being naked with other people is a very healing thing to do. But maybe not if a body part of another naked person is screaming at you: I’m sexualizing you.

In this case no offense was taken and maybe my penis did even help me at the right time to communicate what I wanted to communicate either way. After spending a great time together and having dinner, Cindy offered me that if it would get too cold in my car during the night, she’d be happy to welcome me in her car. It was pretty warm that evening but together it’s always warmer and sometimes even hot as much as it can get and so I happily joined her.

The next day we drove Rosinante as far up a mountain as we could and continued hiking up the mountain. In the evening, I had an online appointment with my Zen community and so we were not quite sure if we could make it to the summit and back in time.

But when we reached the upper part of the mountain the summit looked so nice and the way up there looked so exciting that we just kept going. The last part we had to climb and on the top we found a small ruin with a great view.

I don’t know why but before that day, I had never had sex on a summit. But it absolutely makes sense. The view is nice, the air is fresh, and there is this excitement and activation of the ascent. It’s perfect.

The whole hike was just perfect. We had a super good time and again we had the same pace in everything we were doing. I really loved this hike with this wonderful girl in this wonderful nature.

When the thunder strikes you on the mountain high (May 2023)

I really love thunderstorms. The nice, exciting atmosphere, the rain, the dynamics of the wind…

But being inside of one just between the summits of the Karasay and the Eznevit at 3500 meters altitude was a very different experience.

When I started the ascent, the weather looked good and after some kilometers of walking on nearly flat ground the real ascent started. It was basically just going up, up, up the steep slope.

When I was about 200 meters away from the top, the thunderstorm rapidly arose and I was standing on the very steep, snow covered slope in my snow shoes and thought about what direction would be better. Up or down? No cover in any direction. So I decided to go up between the two summits to have at least a less steep place when the thunderstorm would hit me.

I found a tiny spot, sat down, wrapped myself in my emergency blanket to have some protection from the wind, hail, snow and whatever there is to come and looked in the direction of the approaching thunderstorm.

I saw big lightning hitting the rocks of the mountain in front of me and it looked so impressive. But after just a couple of minutes the view drastically deteriorated and everything went white and the storm was tugging and pushing my blanket.

But sitting in the blanket felt ok to me. The lightning did not close in on me which made me feel pretty safe. But still I had some interesting thoughts. For example, I thought if there is something I should do before I may die in this thunderstorm. I guess I was very far away from dying up there but still this thought occurred to me but I did not find anything and just continued sitting.

The whole time I had this song from East 17 on my mind: “When the thunder calls you, from the mountain’s high, it’s time to spread your wings and fly”.

After the thunderstorm had passed, I just ran/ slided down the slope and felt totally pumped.

One final reason to stay on Cyprus? (April 2023)

After the Teletubbies-garden I went again to the southern part. Some people of the talking circle community were planning to do a nice two day hike on which we would sleep for one night in one of the many abounded villages on Cyprus. Sounds awesome, right?

One day in advance I met one of them and she showed me a super nice beach where we stayed and had such a nice time together. I don’t know for sure what activities are appropriate in abounded ruins of little chapels but I guess some that are a lot of fun may be more inappropriate than others.

The next day it was raining so the hike got cancelled. Instead of the hike, we visited the land of one of the talking circle. It was a super nice and beautiful place in nature. With a lot of animals, plants and clever ideas. We talked, cooked, watched the stars and spent a wonderful time together.

I was feeling that the connection between me and her was super nice, harmonic and exciting and in the next weeks we met several times. I’d say that different things we experienced in our lives were pretty bounding and I loved her for being straight forward and some more private reasons.

But this time, I felt very clear that I would continue my travels at some point. Back in Bulgaria, I was feeling different about that. There I felt that even staying in Bulgaria would have been an option. What is more, I did not want to say something like “I’ll continue at some point. Could be tomorrow or in a year”. It felt unfair to me.

So I did my best to communicate that I’ll continue in about four weeks. I was in a mood of “experiencing everything as long as it lasts” and  although she understood that, she did not feel like that. Joining me in my travels or continuing our relationship on Cyprus as long as I would stay there were no options for her as well and so we ended our relationship before it really had started. Although I felt so connected with her, I felt ok with that