Beglika part two: Connections, projections, anxieties, and something unique (August 2022)

The time at the Beglika festival was wonderful. All the people I met were nice, friendly, and peaceful. Maybe there were about one thousand guests at the festival at one point but at that location, it never felt crowded or like a mass event. It felt always natural. Like a good, healthy time with gorgeous people, and nice music in nature.

During that time some topics came up inside me. I observed how my thoughts were questioning things that I was doing. If it was alright to do this or to not do that. It was a profound experience. First, it made me become insecure. I felt these ongoing commentaries of my thoughts and gave attention to them. Shortly after that, I felt like I was accepting these thoughts in a new and profound way and that felt deep and healthy. I felt more authentic.

I did different workshops and went to concerts and it was everything I hoped it would be. The concerts were all super nice and very direct/ without any barriers. The whole organization of this festival was just free. It was totally different than the German festivals (even the smaller ones) I used to know. Basically, you could just do whatever you wanted. And I did not feel any form of aggression during the whole time. People were under the influence of different kinds but never in a very unhealthy, uncontrolled way.

The people did love to spin burning sticks, staffs, Pois, and all sorts of things. I liked that a lot as well and it was strongly connected to my bo staff spinning and striking. After my first experience with burning pois, I gave the burning staff a chance and I loved it a lot.

One evening it took part in a temazcal ceremony. That one was a special experience as well. If you ever come across something like that, consider giving it a try. For me, it was very hot and refreshing, sweaty and cleaning, tight and opening.

The weather was changing all the time. At night it was around 10 to 15 degrees Celcius and in the daytime, it could be anything from 15 to 22 degrees. There were wind, rain, hail, and sun. Everything. These changes, the location, the all-present feel of freedom, and the people made this time so special and just beautiful. Magical. And still, there were people I connected more with than with others. I suppose that will always be the case.

The family I had met at the big lake came at the start of the festival and we continued having a nice time together. We had great conversations about everything and playing with the kids was always pure fun. I hope that I will meet them again at some point. I did not often meet a family that was so lovely, good willing, and open to each other.

I meet so many nice people… When I did have my first contact with a guy who was training spinning a staff, I deeply experienced how I was projecting things from deep inside of me onto other people. I asked him about the spin he was practicing and immediately I was feeling something going on. Something negative, insecure. Something I was rejecting. I kept being friendly and open and after some time that feeling ceased and we did connect and learned from each other. After that encounter, it really came to me how I was rejecting what I was receiving from him because I did not want to be part of me. It was profound and changed something deep inside of me.

One day, I was training spinning my bo staff at the beach when a Bulgarian woman came along. At first glance, I felt something deep. A connection, a warmth. We started a conversation and these feelings increased a lot. Artha and I never arranged a meeting, but we met a lot of times. Every time we met, we had beautiful conversations. Every time I felt something unique, authentic, and pure. I felt seen and a strong pull towards her, but at the same time, I did not want to rush anything. I wanted to feel and observe it. But the connection between us was ubiquitous. Strong and profound. When Artha was about to leave Beglika before its ending to head for a spiritual workshop at another place, we exchanged numbers…

Beglika part one: magic in the Bulgarian mountains, labor, and about motivation and beliefs (August 2022)

At the big lake, I decided to go one week early to the area where the Beglika festival would take place. I thought it would be nice to help build stuff that is needed for the festival and I hoped for some physical labor in nature and nice people that connect with nature, spirituality, and music.

When I arrived at the festival area I was stunned by the beauty of that place. It was located at about 1.300m and a wonderful hilly spot mostly surrounded by a mountain lake and woods. The whole place was not very big and not small nether. It was perfect. All that was already build-up, was made of wood and mostly natural resources.

A group of volunteers was preparing all kinds of things for the festival and a few locals camped at the lake. Everybody I met, was super nice, friendly, and chilled and I immediately felt that this place, the people were gorgeous and the festival would be like that as well.

I found a super nice spot for Rosinante. Next to the main area of the festival, there was a small forest up a hill. At the foot of the other side of that hill, Rosinante and I found home right next to the lake. A walk at the lake led me to my neighbors: two Bulgarians who were there camping, living, and working (online) for a week. They were spiritual topics and we connected very well. They even had a dedicated tent for meditation.

I went to the volunteers and joined them for most of the time before the festival started. We built big tarps, organized drinking water, prepared wood for fires and construction, cooked, washed, cleaned, constructed, ate, talked, and had a good time together. Some of the about twenty volunteers were already for weeks at that place. One group of French scouts had planned and organized their trip to and help at the Beglika festival for months. It felt good to work with them and the atmosphere was mostly harmonious and good willing.

Before I started my journey, I had been working at a software development company and had a lot of different tasks. One area in which I had been contributing a lot of my energy was the organization of working processes and addressing the people’s needs.

In Beglika, it was interesting to just flow with whatever had to be done. I did what had to be done and got not into optimizing or changing the way how it was done. This was a profound experience for me. I just flowed with whatever happened. It was interesting to observe how the motivation of the others was going up and down and what let them struggle. The organization was very loose and based on the engagement of everyone and I loved this approach.

This experience reassured me, that it is very easy to become encroaching. In the past, I had often been very convinced that I know how to do things. That doesn’t mean that I forced people into things. It just means that I had a strong belief and direction in the things I thought and did. And sometimes others welcomed this, I guess. It can give stability, hope, and direction. There have been times when that approach let me feel responsible for a lot and that turned out not to be healthy. At least for me.

At that time at Beglika, I felt that instead of giving stability, hope, and direction it would be healthier for others and myself to learn to keep up direction and the hope in it together. I mean less “this is the direction I’m believing right now, let’s talk about it, I’m happy if you believe in it too, take it” and more “let’s see together what direction we can come up with and develop intrinsic belief in it while doing so”. I’m wondering if I will ever build up/ work together at something in a group of people for a longer period. If I will, it will be very different for me.

I felt totally good to just do things. My favorite tasks were: cleaning tree trunks with a slicer and manually drilling holes for pillars. It was tough to drill into the hard ground, through stones and I loved it.